The economic meltdown has hit me hard , as i scan the newspaper for jobs and "wanted " ads , i start to get nostalgic and remember the days , when the sensex was at 20k, the salaries were six fugured and the perks and employers were really generous and ,we ( i.e. the professional) were in demand and "kings ".

Times have changed , the sensex plummeted , as did my salary, and the layoff really hurt !!Few companies can afford a new peon, let alone a MBA graduate , the ceo of my company even had to give up his country club member-ship .( imagine how hard / tough his life must be , without his saturday golf  and sunday night bridge ).

I chanced upon an advert for a leading bpo , they required freshers , any-one who had completed high-school and had the gift of the gab could apply , .Since , i was an mba grad , ( that too in h.r.) , i applied , but , alas to my misery , they thought that i was too qualified , and that i would really affect the attrition rate ( yes, the guy who told me this was another hr grad , who too loved to show-off management jargon , even when it was'nt required )

I went back to my tiny pigeon hole ( i refuse to call it a "room", its really really small) ; and switched on the telly .

Imagine , to my horror, there were nt any new episodes being aired !!!!The television industry was also on strike , guys , remember that house-wives and senior citizens arent your only patrons , ..you have a very large audience in the un-employed and un-initiated .

My room-mate , shankar from chennai , ( he really does introduce himself like that -always ), came inside , all happy and heaving and panting like he had just run the minute mile .

Well sats (thats what  he called me ), guess what i have in my hand ?And waved a small compact disc , in his small chunky hand .

I really was'nt interested , yet he persisted , and fed the lap-top , with the cd .......

what followed was very very interesting

                                                                     GOING AWAY.......AND IT HURTS                                                

The cell phone rang - at mid-day,

With the power out , and in the bed i lay,

It was that guy from maersk whom i;d spoken to last friday:

"congrats my freind , you are joining ship"

will be flying to singapore , and then to cape-town in a two day trip;

pack your bags and your emotions;

you're joining vessel with a promotion, "

he hung up,

but i stood up,

i was happy , and elated and ...surprised ,

"always beleive in god" , my mom had always surmised ;

i ran up to the pooja room,

and knelt in front of the idols in full bloom:

"i was happy and my mom could see;

but what was that ......a tear from her eye in all this glee ???"

"ok , go i am glad for you ;. .. a chikds prosperity;

is all a mother knows ;

but , all children forget it , as they grow !!!"

i did not want to argue then;

the first time for me , since i was ten,

i went to sleep , just when ...

the lights came back on....then;

The coming days were fun-filled and busy ;

packing , and chatting and telling everyone my story;

i guess that they are all bored by now;

no-one wants to know the who, where , when and how ???

my deaprture is in two days,

catching up on all the movies , books and plays;

i beleive that one has to go;

thats the only way to grow,

and to all my freinds on rediff-iland ( one in particular )

i really , really wish that you are still here tommorow.

ps: the poet leaves on the 28th .....wishing him all the best!!!wont you ????

                                                    A LONELY SUMMER

I came back;

I expected a welcome;

Some one to cheer for me ;

Some one to greet me ;

But ALAS ;

An empty house awaited me ;

Its walls dreary and drab;

Its air squalid and thick;

I thought for a moment :

"Have they all forgotten ?"

"have they gone sick?"

I entered the house;

With a heavy heart:

And a light smile ;

"OK ! its momentary !

They must have gone out for a while "

Looking at the table ;

A letter i saw;

IT  was written in  RED INK ;

( Probably my attention to draw)

it read :

" Dear son, we love you ;

we love you a lot ;

and before we did this ;

we gave it a lot of thoght "

We 've tolerated you ;

for a long, long time ;

Being as you are - is no crime "

Yet we fear , we cannot live ;

with you any longer ;

Loneliness i dare say-

would make you stronger "

"So we leave you this house ;

And all thats in it;

Enjoy your life son;

but, we are'nt in it ."

And so my tryst  loneliness began;

very soon;

i became its biggest fan:

but, now that i am marrying you;

on this very day:

i plead with you

DONT EVER LEAVE ME ,

DONT EVER GO AWAY !!!!!"

PS: THE POET DID LIVE A HAPPY LIFE AFTER THAT ,

 WITH/ WITHOUT HIS WIFE ;

I DONT KNOW , 

Y DONT YOU ASK HIM , THAT

                          DARK VADER IN THE HOUSE

I opened the door -with a noise,

It was dark in there - "where were  the boys "

The cramped little hut met , i had lived for long,

Now seemed so meek , so un-strong,

The wind outside, blew so hard!!!

The gate just flew - outside the yard,

I LOOKED AND THERE FOR ALL TO SEE-

THE DARK VADER - IN HIS MISERY,

why has he come ? and why just now ?

i have to get rid of him - but how????

i looked around , and to my releif-

i found a bible - ( in which i have much beleif)

The dark vader , just snorted and roared,

and all that meat - hanging from the fangs - ( which he used to flesh bore)

i scampered , and whined and hid in vain;

i will die!!thoughts in my mind again and again!!

and when that brute , just jumped on me ;

the alarm rang , and i got up - you see;

it was a nightmare , with a lot of gore ;

though i really want to tell you more ;

you'll just have to wait till again i snore

Has it ever happened to you?

 There you are , sitting all sweaty and nervous, on the sofa ;at the reception ,of your job interview, (when, all the water you've had, since you arrived at the place in the past hour, is finally coming out of your system, and your drenched shirt and tie , actualy exhibit the fact, that you are what you feel you are NERVOUS AND SWEATY),

Then, your eyes wander around the small, cramped room, you study all  your competitors , trying to gauge each one's personality and qualification, ( it would 've been easier to go and ask them, but if you have paid any attention to the preceeding paragraph, you would understand , my condition- not to mention, body odor).

Like a Russian roulette , my eyes wander , and wander, .....and all at once , they STOP!!!

A pretty young lady, dressed immacutely in blue , a power suit, no less!!!Minimum make-up,minimum fuss, her breifcase ( was it a D&G.?......) , I would never know ,

i present to you in real time the thoughts that go through my warped mind . (The number in the bracket denotes the seconds in real time, the thought has come into my subconscious)

(1): MAN!! Another competitor, i wish her all the Worst !!

(5) : But what , lovely hair!!!

(7): she looks lonely and nervous!!!

(9): i will go help her !! she needs a man

(10) no......not that nerdy guy next to her .....a REAL MAN ( read me )

(13)I will go talk to her

(16) oh she finds me so funny !!!and witty ......and intelligent!!!!.......she cant take her eyes off my handsome face !!!!!........OH STOP......PLZ STOP WITH THE COMPLIMENTS WOMAN....

(19) I offer to take her out for coffee......she asks where ? ....i reply confidently...the coffee machine outside the reception.....she laughs....."OH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL ....!!!!"....

( 20) I hold her hand, though pretending to see her resume ....

( 21) She smiles, that coy smile, that girls do when they know everything yet pretend to know nothing!!!!

(23) sharmesh....( thats me )...i dont need this job, the company would benefit more with a genius like you ......she reasons with me......!!!

( 25) You will marry me, and look after all my needs, the bills, the pms mood swings, the beauticians bills ....eveything .......AND I MEAN EVERYTHING!!!!!

( 26) I look afraid, you i am startled, when she removes a big thick diary from her bag and says" see , this is the list of all my ex boy freinds .....i have no need for them now...i have found a real ..lamb.....er MAN, ....ofcourse in you!!!!

(30) This is my mother , i think that she would loving with me, .....i mean us ....you wont mind will you....and that s my father ....he drinks a little....but otherwise...he's fine .....thats my little brother ....."THATS LITTLE!!!!!"...., now don't ever tell him that he's 300 pounds, he will have a low self esteem; ...and an even lower metabolic rate !!1 i think....and thats my cousin from africa............thats my ................

(120.....).......and thats my fathers cousins, second sisters, husbands brother in law.......

( 120....+1) YOU DONT LOVE ME , she screams.....YOU DONT HAVE TIME FOR ME OR MY FAMILY..!!!!

( 120...+2)I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE RECEPTIONIST...YOU ALWAYS   ASK HER OUT FOR COFFEE!!!

(120+.........+......5) HOW DID I KNOW???!!!! ALL WOMEN CAN SENSE THESE THINGS!!!!!

(120+.......+......+.......) I had collapsed !!!!

(*) MAN!!Another competitor, i wish her all the worst !!!

                                      FUEL PRICE,INFLATION AND ETC

Fuel prices have been increased by 5 Rupees, now  a litre of petrol costs  an exhorbitant 55.88 , with such costs, the operating expenditures of car- owners will surely exceed the normal cost of the vehicle itself. The government said that the price hike was inevitable, but what had the government done so far , to curb the price hike of other essential commodities like food grains, sugar .

The cost of a lpg cylinder has gone up by rupees 50, which means that a lpg cylinder will now cost a prohibitive 380 rupees, and the rate at which things are going it wont be long before the price reaches near 500 rupees.

The middle class as always has to bear the brunt of this hike , the government should act other-wise , and justify the price increase , people will use their cars, bikes etc less , but  that means more people using the public transport , but do have  enough number of buses and local trains to accomodate the commuters?  I dont think so , the government should act fast , and respond to the need of the hour as ,monsoon will soon be upon us, travelling without a car or own mode of conveyance will be dobly difficult,  the apathy shown towards the common man is appaling,.

The main reason being that the government officials themselves have evrything taken care of, should they step in the shoes of the normal middle class person , they would know.

However , in conclusion , as they say" every dark cloud has a silver lining " , lets hope for the best ,and pray that the situation improves .

 My girl-freind , we broke off !!!, as crazy as it may sound , i wasnt sad , though expecting it , i was angry !!

Anger , an emotion so  impulsive and , yet so destructive , that a rein over the same is absolutely essential .

I was angry, when she told me that she had to get married someplace else , i was angry when she told me that meeting ( we 're in a long distance relation ship, me in mumbai and she in lucknow ) once in a year , was'nt good enough , i was angry when she wrote "i am poor , and will be happy as i am , yet you spend a lot of time earning money ", yes ....and it was anger that reflected in my voice , when we had that long ardous argument before the final break up.

I tried to apologise , but the damage had been done , in anger my voice had risen so high , my words had been so vitriolic, that i couldnt ever imagine that ,  it was me who had said those words.

You see, the next few days were spent in repentance , then the conniving plans to get back at her, but although i could have easily have gotten my two seconds of revenge , the anger seething within, would;nt have gone .

so , i decided to forgive , her , myself and fate , for all that happens in the universe thats out of our control.

ok, neha i forgive you , though  your lack  of vocabulary and intelligence will prevent you from understanding this , i forgive you ......

well that felt better .....

ok ,ok i am still trying.....

plz dont get ANGRY

Finally, the king-pin, master-mind of the kidney racket is caught.

I hope that , justce is finally served , how-ever , lets , dig a bit deeper and think , would all this have been possible without the consent of some government officials? and how-ever gullible the farmers ( or victims ) claim to have been , you really think that some-one would allow their body to cut up , and organs removed without their consent?

Could'nt it have been the greed , of these victims , that the villianous doctor thrived on? he was wrong in what he did , but then the intention with which the donors (? ), had given their kidneys , was not to rid some poor person of his/her pain or suffering , but with that of making a quick buck, ( and lots of it ). And when the doctor didnot give them their share , they cried foul !!!The act of donating ones own organ ti save someone elses, is a great  noble act, but the intention here , was'nt that , ot was one of greed , and avarice.

I guess that theres no "happy ending" here , for all we know , there would be some other doctor, some place else , feeding on poor peoples travesty and , ofcourse greed .

OKAY, OKAY  so finally the roadie auditions are over , and barring a few good ( cute roadies ) , i guess that the auditions did more for Nikhil and raghu than an entire season on mtv.I mean , with all that jazz and pizzaz that the interviewers , have ( or suposedly have ) those are the two best candidates from mumbai!!!!!

YOU MUST BE CRAZY!!!!!

One guy seems to be delighted , ( wether he was born with that look or practiced ) ......he looks like a gooofy, good for nothing .

c'mon guys , mumbai has doodhwalas with more attitude !!!( and i mean no disrespect to the doodh walas...........it would probably be insulting to them when i compare them with nihal and the other freak !!!)

best of luck guys ,

you will really need it !!!

ps: if you lose, plz go over to some other city ....u dont deserve to   be on mtv, ......or in mumbai)

The repo people knocked at the door, BANG BANG BANG!!! I , being the man of the house- stood inside - trembling , shivering , quivering - I  really wondered if things were going down so fast!!!
My mind flashed back- The internet boom, the tech stocks soaring , it seemed everyone had turned MIDAS .

Should have saved- should have saved !!!!.I kept repeating .
Back to the present.

 The man ( lets just call  him that ), sat on the sofa , nonchalant.
With cigar in mouth , huge fella - in  Armani suit  , and yellow striped top hat - he looked straight out of a Coppola movie.
(  Did i mention the .760 pistol?)-  well more on that later .
I'd taken everything on loan- a car loan for the Mercedees (  s- class )
 an education loan for the mba from Berkley, the housing loan ........( alas the One that did me in)

I felt like crying , but tears failed me: My firms boss -  the bastard !!! he sold off his shares a day before the companies share values plummeted .Where the coward is hiding - noone knows ; ( Yes he's hiding, if he comes back there'll be many wanting his blood)
" Open op!!! We've to seal the house, you're violating civil laws, or else you'll be punished under section ......"
I could'nt think straight just 24 hours ago; the collector had accepted my bribe of a  lakh  of rupees; and had assured me Nothing would happen.
 But guess what -corrupt officers dont have any honour.
"We can break open the door Mr. Thakur; you know we can!lets get this over with; without getting anyone hurt"
I did nothing
BANG .... the door broke at one hinge .
BANG, then the other
I signalled my "man"
He sprung into action.
Gesturing me ; to hide below the sofa , he jumped out with the .760 pistols and shot away!!!......
" Mr Bhaskaran; please sir, give me just one more month to repay , the loan! Please understand."
Chewing on  paan  , he replied ( oil dripping from his small round head ) " We all know rules and regulations , you know na maybe....."
That prick wanted a bribe (  he had already been paid a lakh of rupees )
Assholes - all of them.
My man- the sharpshooter seemed more honest , more trustworthy than all these so called " government servants".
Its true , they're servants all right; unfaithful,and as of now unforgiven.
The bangs of the pistol, the ricotcheing of bullets , drowned out my thoughts for a while.

BANG BANG BANG  ....silence - total Silence .
My "man" had done his job.
There they lay on the floor.
Mr Bhaskaran, the repo man- and unfortunately for no fault of his - sub-inspector SHINDE .
Yes !!! I had blood on my hands!
Yes!!! I hired a hitman to get mu job done ( you might call it retribution)- done
But was it worth it?
Having seen my wife leave me - my twins wailing as they left!
My mothers sad face - I'd left her back in the village !!!............

Yes it was worth it !!!
I patted my " man"
And told him>>>>>>>
he smiled and said " kabhi bhi boss , bas aawaz do , aur mein haazir ho jaaounga"
As I walked out of my home - for the final time - memories flashed -  my wedding - the birth of the twins - my mothers birhday- so many so many
 A rare tear rolled down my cheek.
I picked up the photo that had been placed on my mahogany study
" MBA FIRST CLASS WITH HONOURS U.C. BERKLEY"
I let out a cruel laugh!!!
I looked at the " man" , and gave him a key !!- he looked at me and with a pefunctonary nod , he went outside .
He got into the S- class mercedees .
I walked away into the market pavement.
VROOM , it sped away .
I read the license plate ot read  "z-800-LONE"
 I smiled ,
iys not lone but " LOAN " that had caused me this predicament.